Life Lessons

Latest Life Lessons

ETO NA NAMAN SYA! Ang araw na nag reremind satin taon taon kung “Valentine’s na, may jowa ka na ba?” hahaha! Have no fear, #LoveYourself nga naman d ba? bigyan ko kayo ng ideas for both couples and singles!


NYAR NYAR NYAR! hahahaha!

Promise hindi nako mang iinis. READ MORE.


So i posted this recently and parang maraming naka-relate. Sige push na natin. Ang limited kasi tumalak sa IG.

A year ago I was rushing from one place to another. Sleep was a luxury. Balancing school, work and all other things. All my trips made me extremely tired. Energizer bunny got nothing on me. I was usually up by 8 when I came home at 5am. One of my friends told me “if you don’t slow down, Magkakasakit ka and you will be forced to slow down”. Fortunately, I didn’t get sick but I did slow down. Late last year, I learned to eat breakfast (not after gimmick meal ha), sit for hours in a cafe with a book (nope, no phone activities), turn off my phone, leave my phone on silent the whole day, not panic when I don’t get to charge my powerbank, break my cardio records, sleep before midnight (heck, I even sleep at 9pm sometimes) and study while really absorbing what I was learning (not just for the sake of completing my module papers). I may not be doing 20t things in a day, but I kinda enjoy this laid back me more. I get to appreciate each activity more and have more meaningful conversations because I’m not in a hurry to finish everything. Now I look forward to my no itinerary trips, I sleep my full 8 hours, my papers are ahead of time, and I barely remember when was the last time I was really tired. Tama nga sila dun sa “stop and smell the flowers”. So 2016, I’ll try to drink more water, beat more cardio records, listen to more old music, and stop and smell more flowers ???——- This is how chill I am. I’m enjoying my pandan tea while catching up with @margauxmedina. Sige, live the adventures for me muna. Quota nako last year! Hahaa!

A photo posted by Divine Lee (@divinemlee) on

Read more para maka avail ng #HUGOT


I think I owe you guys an explanation. I’ve been sharing my life through this blog for years. You’ve seen my ganaps, my hanash and all in between. But for the past few months, I haven’t been updating regularly. Well, yeah you see me update. But when I say really update I haven’t been sharing “my life” with you. And I owe you guys an apology. Sorry na…

Hindi naman secret noh! Haha! Medyo nagulo ang mundo ko. I’ve always been an open book and I think part of the reason why I didn’t really share the ganap here is that I always tried to be a source of happiness and strength for all. Eh d naman ako Orocan na matibay sa ka plastikan, I can’t seem to translate my humor into posts while I was really broken and seeking my balance. So I decided to take a mini break. For me and for world peace. Charot!


So as I said, I’ve always been an open book. OO NA! NAWALA YUNG FOREVER! hahaha! Alam nyo naman ata naganap sakin. But I don’t entirely blame the loneliness from the unsuccessful relationship. It was more part of growing up. Sometimes, there are things that are just really supposed to stay in one period of our life. These are given to us para may mga makuha tayong leksyon. I lost excitement in myself, and mahirap yun for a person so positive and jolly like me. When I realized that, I knew I had to find my balance. Hindi lang forever ang nawala, pati balance ko.


So I did things on my own, I made new friends, I made friends for keep and friends that were given to help me cope with the different stages of loneliness. Actually, hindi ako lonely ata. It’s just an emotion na parang lost in translation ako. Nagtampo pa nga my other friends, coz I really took a step back. Alam ko naman love nila ako, that kahit anong inarte nila, eventually they would understand. I had to get out of my comfort zone. I needed a bit of discomfort, a bit of doubt, kahit fear nga para makita ko how I react to things and if yun parin yung taong gusto ko maging. I saw new places, I did new things, I tried to really identify what made me happy and what I enjoyed. I lost that in the process eh. Naging robotic ako, liking the same thing, my decisions were more a routine than choices leading me to who I want to be. So slowly, I regained my balance. And day by day, just like how i didn’t realize the loneliness coming over me, may reverse effect. I became happy.. slowly and on my own. My happiness didn’t depend on anyone. Actually, i enjoyed my own company. That was something na hindi ko alam gawin kasi nga people person ako at ang haba ng mga relationship ko (5 years and 9 years). And you know what, when I became happy alone, I didn’t need that Tom Cruise line na “you complete me.” GURL! Complete ako at umaapaw pa. Dapat pala ganun noh? Umaapaw ka, para marami kang mabigay. Hindi yung naghahanap ka ng pupuno ng kulang. SHHHIEETT! ANG GALING KO DUN HA! HENYA! FOR THE EKONOMY!


When I became complete, i realized what was important to me. I apologized to people who felt I left them, I reconnected with those who never left my side, and i started seeing the best in people. Nabalik ko si DIVINE! ANG GALING KO TALAGA. hahahaha! kidding aside, I know I’m not the only one who went through this. Invest in yourself. You need that break, do it. You need to step back, do it. Stop living the robotic routine. Find yourself, coz that’s the pnly way to can get back on track. By losing yourself a little, you will see what you are made of. Ang labo noh? But totoo. I needed to know paano ba ako magdecision? eto ba ba yung taong gusto ko maging? When I wake up, masaya ba ako?


Ok, now to the point of forever. ANG FOREVER NASA PALIGID LANG PALA. ANG FOREVER SAYO GALING. It’s about you opening your eyes. When you start understanding yourself, when you start agreeing na “eto nga yung gusto ko maging tao”, then you start seeing the goodness in life and in people. That’s the only time you can make good decisions. Alam nyo yung happiness is not just about the person making you happy. Hanapin nyo yung mutual kayo. Yung pareho kayong masmasaya pag pinapasaya nyo yung bawat isa. When the relationship is more about the laughter and the smiles. Coz end of the day… happiness comes first. Sino bang tumatawa ng hindi happy? hanapin nyo yung sasakit ang tyanella nyo sa kakatawa. That person is for keeps.

Well, wala pa naman nakakaperfect satin ng love. At kung meron man, hindi ako na inform. Wala rin nabigay na manual sakin. But you know what, not afraid to try. Kasi sobra na ako. Umaapaw. ANG SWERTE NAMAN NI B sakin ngayon! Charot!


So, I guess I can say I’m BACK…LA!


Much love forever,



I’ve been thinking of a good bday gift for myself. After everything that happened to Yolanda, hindi parin ata ako makamove on. Visiting for the first few weeks after the tragedy hit, nagkaron ata ng konting psychological effect sakin. I pa de-brief na naman ako, just need talaga to get over it.

So when i visited Leyte, hindi lang naman calamity and damage ang nakita ko but tremendous effort on everybody’s part to help. Heroes kung tatawagin. Bianca Gonzales, who was also very active during the calamity, ang naging phone-a-friend ko everytime naiiyak ako or nastress or bet makipagchikahan about how inspiring the Filipino are. Everyone was willing to help in any way they can. So even when I got back ayun best in search parin ako for inspiring kwentos on the net.

One story I encountered has nothing to do with Yolanda, but really made a mark on me.

3 gay students make difference in Zamboanga City standoff

By Julie S. Alipala

ZAMBOANGA CITY—Momar Javier already accepted his fate that he was “going to die” while being held hostage by Moro National Liberation Front MNLF) forces in Zamboanga City in early September.

“But we needed to do something,” said Javier, 20, a student of Zamboanga State College of Marine Sciences and Technology (ZSCMST).

Javier is one of three young gay men who came out with their best during the worst of times.

Together with Peter Jupiter Galvez and Ram Mahusay, Javier provided food, water and laughter for the other hostages held by the MNLF forces for more than three weeks.

The MNLF forces entered the city, claiming they were instructed to march and hold a rally in front of City Hall where they will declare the independence of the Bangsamoro Republic. Their presence caused panic among residents and armed response from police and government soldiers, leading to a three-week standoff.

Fr. Michael Ufana, the parish priest of Saint Joseph Church, said the gay youngsters took care of his 70-year-old father Isidoro.

“At the height of captivity, these gay students offered comfort to my family. They gave their papag (bed) to my father and sister. They slept on the cold, dirty floor,” Ufana told the Inquirer.

Isidoro said Javier carried the priest whenever the hostages were moved from house to house during the fighting. “I carried him on my back because he could no longer walk,” Javier said in Filipino.

Galvez, 20, was the hostages’ “water girl.” His main responsibility was to provide water for cooking, drinking and for the MNLF men’s morning coffee.

“We were being fired at while drawing water and carrying water containers,” Galvez said in Filipino. “We accepted our death.”

Mahusay, 21, a hotel and restaurant management (HRM) student, was assigned to cook for the over 100 hostages. “I put to good use my HRM course. I cooked and fed the hostages,” he said.

“We also fed the MNLF men,” he added.

Mahusay recalled a day when some hostage-takers brought several kilograms of flour from a burned store. “I made pancakes. We ate pancakes for several days,” he said.

Having undergone training with the Philippine Red Cross, Mahusay helped treat the wounded hostages.

Two of them, Cherry Belarmino and her mother Virginia, said they owed their lives to the three gays.

“They have a happy disposition,” Cherry said in Filipino. “They were not afraid of bullets.”

She said the trio were even ordered to dig graves for those who had died during the standoff.

The gays would joke about seeing fireworks whenever government forces fired mortar shells at night.

But they had experienced the worst on Sept. 13, when soldiers launched an all-out offensive against the MNLF forces in KGK Building on Lustre Street in Barangay Santa Catalina.

Galvez said he hid inside a small refrigerator when the soldiers started firing mortar shells and tear-gas bombs. Javier and Mahusay were crouched under a sink.

“We were told never to get out of the building because we would all be fired at,” Galvez said.

“Whether you are a hostage or a rebel, it no longer mattered at that time,” Ufana said.

His family had decided not to return to Santa Catalina. “We will either sell the property or convert it into a boarding house, but we will never stay there anymore,” Ufana said.

Galvez, Javier and Mahusay, however, went back to their boarding house in nearby Santa Barbara. “I even recovered some of my things, which were scattered on the road,” Galvez said.

For Christmas, Mahusay said he just wanted to be with his family. “I also want to meet (transgender beauty queen) Kevin Balot in person. She is my idol,” he said.

Javier said he wanted a new makeup kit as a Christmas gift. “I love doing other people’s makeup,” he said.

He said he had to “move on” because he wanted to finish his studies. “I am a dean’s lister and I need to maintain my grades. Sometimes, I have bad dreams, but I try to fight it out,” he said.

Javier is treasurer of ZSCMST Supreme Student Council.

Galvez, on the other hand, wants to meet celebrity host Vice Ganda. “Ganda is my ever idol and inspiration,” he said.

Galvez already got his gift—a closer bond with his father.

“My father did not accept my being gay. But when I was freed, my father embraced me. And he cried in public,” Galvez said.

College president Dr. Milavel Nazario said she was proud of her students.

“At the height of such tremendous ordeal, they managed to stand out among the others and bounce back. Gays are really gay and strong people,” Nazario said.


So i tweeted, Ig’s and lahat ng pwedeng magawa in search for these 3 heroes. Buti nalang follower ko ang teacher nila! She messaged me and I started coordinating with her. December palang nun. I planned on meeting the 3 in Manila. We were in the process of arranging the dates of their visit sabi ko yun nalang ang Xmas gift or bday gift ko sa sarili ko para matry ko mabigay ang wishes nila. Sometime during the christmas break, i found out that they are going to be in Manila for GGV. Hindi na ako naghintay, hinaggard ko kagad si Buern na ipaalam if I can see the 3 little ones during their visit. Buti nalang bongga si Vice and nagawan ng paraan!

Here are Matt, Kevin and Margaux waiting for our heroes!
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One of them really wanted to meet Kevin, and one of them wanted to be a makeup artist. So perfect si Jake Galvez!
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Of course, hindi mawawala si Direk Elmer sa lineup. Sa lahat ng mga paandar ko na ganito. Isa pa toh sa always willing and ready to help.
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D + V
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Gandang gulat! KLAZZ!
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They are finally here! Pinasundo namin sila sa ABS while Buern became their yayey for the day! haha! Salamat Buern!
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It’s inspiring how they did everything without doubt and fear. Parang innate sa kanila yung tumulong. Pero more on comedy parin tong mga bagets! D daw nila nakalimutan magcontact lens habang nagiigib ng drum drum ng tubig at tumatakbo sa putukan. Both natawa at nabilib kami sa kwento nila.
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Best in lafang talaga si Jake!
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Syempre ang mga “ate” nila maraming tips on how life. Although, in reality masmarami kaming natutunan sa kanila. D naman namin pinalampas sabihin sa kanila how happy we are to see them.
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Kung maririning mo lang ang kwento nila. Matatawa ka din. I don’t know how they were able to make such a horrifying incident so light. They are brave kids.
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Dati din nasabi nila na binuBully sila sa kanila. I hope that bullies realize na minsan, yung mga inaapi mo ang sasagip din ng buhay mo. Now daw hindi na, but kailangan pa ba umabot sa utang na loob nyo ang buhay nyo. In this situation, our becky friends were more manly than those na umaapi sa kanila before.
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Usapang boyfriends na! hahaa!
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We felt nabitin kami sa chikahan and we want to take them around Manila. So we all agreed to fly them back here.
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Riot talaga tong tatlo, they ar eonly in Manila for an overnight trip pero pang isang linggo daw ang outfits nila. So every hour nagpapalit ata sila! Nagpa despedida pa sila!
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You guys inspire me 🙂
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All their wishes granted! We got him his makeup kit!
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Matotodo nya na ang pagmamakeup!
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Group photo! Ayaw namin pagudin ang bagets. So by 1am, we had to bid our “see you soon”. Hindi pa good bye because for sure we will see them again this Feb!
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Best bday gift ever! Meeting these 3 little ones gave me hope and inspiration.
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Gaganda oh!
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WIth becky nights! Ang mga ate nila!
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Sabi nila Charlies Angels daw sila and V is Charlie!
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It’s so nice to spend my bday this way. Alam ng friends ko that i never throw bday parties for myself, parati nalang akong surprise dahil alam nila I’m not fond of celebrating my own bday. But this one is an exemption.
Nabigay lahat ng gusto nila from meeting Vice, Kevin and makeup kits. Plus syempre binigyan namin sila ng mga pasalubong and paandar that they can use pagbalik nila sa kanila.
Til our next ganap. I have heroes for friends. Thank you for making my bday memorable.
Much love,

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! YOU ROCK! That crown suits you 🙂

LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after approving a new law legalizing gay marriage in England and Wales, Queen Elizabeth II of Britain unleashed a blistering attack on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie for “lacking the guts” to do the same.

The British monarch’s brutal evisceration of Gov. Christie stunned observers, who did not know that she was such a close follower of his gay-marriage stance.

“I don’t like to badmouth people,” she said. “But I’m the head of a monarchy that began in the ninth century, and I’m apparently more modern than Chris Christie.”

After shocking observers with her opening salvo, she continued to tear Gov. Christie to shreds.

“Look, I know he has to appeal to the crazy right wingers in his party,” she added. “But the fact is, he’s not as forward-thinking as an eighty-seven-year-old lady who wears a crown on her head. It’s pathetic.”

Asked if she had advice for Gov. Christie, the British monarch said, bluntly, “Just sign the damn bill, Chris.”

Responding to a reporter’s question about the upcoming royal birth, Elizabeth replied, “Tell you the truth? I’m just glad the kid’s not being born in New Jersey.”


*** BOROWITZ REPORT toh ha 🙂 Although we know ganyan naman ang dama natin 🙂 




Much love,


I lost Coco yesterday. I really hope he’s with Oreo.

Just last year, i lost Oreo…

19 years ago, I was still in school I got the coolest gift ever. Well, gift for myself. I got a dog! I always wanted my own one, we had a couple in the house but d akin yun so medyo deadma ako.


I wanted a show dog! One with long hair so I can put ribbons and pretty dresses. I still remember the day when I went to the breeder. I wanted a black and white one! Yung walang bahid na brown kasi bet ko ang color blocking na vivid. haha! kidding aside, i really wanted a pure black and white one. So during my search for the perfect pup, i found one! The best black and white pup in the litter. Unfortunately, ayaw benta kasi chaka daw. No joke, that’s what the breeder said. He’s a runt and they don’t feel comfortable selling him to me (bagets pa ako so sabi nila iiyakan ko kung mamatay sya). But as a hair fanatic, i loved his hair and insisted to get the pure black and white dog. They allowed me to take him home and just pay for the shots and doctor. So in short, parang libre na.


When I got home, i was a bit disappointed. Oreo could not walk and chaka ng ipin so i had to mash his food so he could eat. Most dogs walk in a few days/weeks depending on the breed, but Oreo took 6 months. Inavail nya talaga. He wasn’t the pretty dog i expected him to be, naglagas pa yung buhok. But kahit chumachaka sya… super lambing naman so it made up for everything. For his frist day to 6th months old, i had to feed him by hand. SO bad owner na kung bad, mahilig sya sa table food kasi sinasabay ko. And he’s sanay to stay home lang kasi nga hindi sya marunong maglakad. He started moving first by “swimming” on the floor then eventually nakalakad din and started eating on his own.


By the 2nd year, bongga na sya. Yung nalagas na buhok gumanda na and i was able to put ribbons na on him. He was always there for me. I know na paguwi ko, there’s someone super excited to see me. Kahit 10 minutes lang ako nawala, the minute i walk in the door akala mo tumama sya ng bingo sa talon.


When i was in college, sinabay nya rin yung body clock nya. Every morning, we would be by the door waiting kasi kasama sya sa pagalis ko. Alam na nya yun. When I finally got my own place, i got busy :( I would still play with him but not as much na. May room na ako, before kasi one bedroom lang house ko so he would sleep with me. Minassacre nya rin kaya yung carpet so sa new house may area nalang sya.

But kahit d ko na sya pinapansin as much, never syang nagbago. Still excited to see me. No fail yan. Kung isususlat ko lahat ng ginawa namin together, kukulangin ang blog na toh.


Last year, he got sick and I really thought it was time. Doctor spoke to me na to get ready and all but of course hindi ko kaya. I begged and prayed to keep him well and he bounced back. V got me liempo. He said he wanted me to be ok if ever Oreo needs to go to doggy heaven na. Syempre, hindi ko sineryoso. Liempo surprisingly became Oreo’s bestie kahit may isa pa akong dog. Para syang big kuya, to the point na si Oreo yung pinagaagawan ni Liempo and Coco. They made a good team :) Super cute relationship.


Last December, Oreo got sick again. More like he’s weak na. 19 years old na sya which is rare for a shih tzu. But kahit poor hearing, blind and no more teeth, super excited parin yan whenever he would see me. So when he got sick, i begged him.. wag naman paabutin mo naman sa birthday ko. He got better. All the way til my birthday. All the way til I got home from Bali.

Last week, manang said Oreo won’t eat na talaga. So bumalik kami sa day one nya. When we had to mash his food and spoon feed him. He was just sleeping narin. And obvious na pagod na sya. He’s not sick though, just old.

Monday was becky nights day. I had that urge to just carry him around the whole day. Tahimik lang sya, but everytime i would call his name, he would try to react kahit mahina na pandinig nya. He would breath hard and try to move. I was crying na, niloloko na ako nila Jake or maybe they were trying to cheer me up. I knew it was time to let him go. I brought him to the room and talked to him. I told Oreo that he can go. Bilin nya na kay Liempo and Coco lahat. Keri na nila yun. Make sure to bilin coz i would need his love when he’s gone and sana naturuan nya yung dalawang bagets.


Today, Oreo left for doggie heaven. I feel bad. Im still crying buckets but in a way not as famas as i would expect. He prepared me. Up to the end pinagbigyan nya ako. Pati birthday ko. So parang unfair na if I hold him here longer. When the doctor said that Oreo or Owyo is gone na. I dropped my meeting and rushed there. I made sure he was clean and brushed nicely, fixed his cremation and waited for them to pick him up. The end na pala talaga yun.


My heart is crying, my eyes are swollen but I guess I’m ok. Masyado nya naman pinakita gaano ako kalakas sa kanya. Pinagbigyan nya ako paulit ulit. He lasted 19 years.


God works in mysterious ways. The other day, my lappy storage disk became full. Ang kulet ko sa twitter how to upgrade. Hindi naman sya sira, in short wala naman sakit. But i had to let go of some files. Finally, after resisting for years, i transferred some files to an external drive. I let go. Parang funny na ginawang sign for me yun.


Oreo’s not sick, parang full lang ang storage or life span nya. Sinulit nya. So he has to go na talaga. And mommy just needs to accept. Like how i accepted the extrenal drive.


Looking back, pagyayabang ko na Oreo is the pinakamabait na doggie in the whole galaxy. Walang cocontra. That’s it. He gave me joy na hindi ko mabibilang or maquantify so sana talaga nabilin nya ng bongga sa dalawa. Malakas naman ako sa kanya and he never failed me so I’m quite sure he did. Tama nga yung breeder when I first got him, IIYAK LANG AKO PAGNAWALA SYA. OO, but these tears are nothing compared to the joy he gave me. SO keri lang kahit umiyak pa ako bukas, next week or everytime I think of him.

Sa lungkot ko i started searching the net for doggie after life. And i found the RAINBOW BRIDGE. Here it is.


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….


Author unknown…


Crayola na naman ako. But medyo nakangiti na. Because it allowed me to visualize Oreo well and happy. And naisip ko na hanggang dun, excited parin sya makita ako :) And in a way, parang push narin yan na magpakabait ako para sure sa heaven ang bagsak so on my way makikita at sasalubungin ko sya.


Oreo, kahit minsan ang baho mo talaga. Ikaw na. I love you so much. When i finally have my own kids, i wished na magka-oreo sila. A pet who would maximize his life para may kasama silang lumaki. Enjoy ka muna dyan sa Rainbow bridge and wait for me :) Make sure they put BLUE RIBBONS. Sabihin mo bet ko lang nakaribbon ka but lalake ka talaga. Or becky siguro. D mo na chika sakin :)


Sorry for the super long post. It’s 3.30am and I’m still crying. Keri na toh. Baka may wifi si Oreo dun, mabasa nya sana. Thank you for the 19 years.


Love you OREO :)



Now, dalawa na sila. The doctor kept on telling me to be ok na coz they exceeded the normal lifespan of doggies. But syempre masakit parin. My friend Melvin told me last night that when dogs go away, baka they saved you from something. D na question yun, they saved me over and over from sadness. They will always be in my heart.


Out of all my dogs, Coco was the middle child. Always giving way to the little ones but always una sa pila ng hug. He was the hugger of the group. I will surely miss that. I got him for free coz i fought with a dogfood maker after na poison yung dogs ko before (long story, chika ko next time). Para syang replacement for my lost puppies. I remember one halloween i dressed him up pa as the red parrot to my Janet Jackson sa “together forever” video. Popstars kasi yung theme ko that year. Ang hirap kasi humanap ng parrot na props. Kahit na mahirap yung red wig nya sa ulo, keri lang sya. Basta everytime umaarte sya, hug ko sya.


Sya yung fave namin ipasyal, kasi super behave or maybe kasi mataba sya so hindi nya na keri tumakbo takbo like the little ones. Last night habang umiiyak ako, I asked V why can’t dogs live as long as humans. Sabi nya sakin, they are too good for this world. I dunno if totoo yun but for sure Coco was too good. He died of a tumor. A tumor that never nya ipanaalam samin for 12 years. I asked the doctor bakit hindi na detect earlier, hindi naman kasi talaga nagkakasakit si Coco. I’m just praying that hindi nya tiniis yun underneath his hugs. When the doctor called us last night and said critical sya, i was kinda shocked. Kasi just the other day, tumatakbo pa sya sa house ng may sipon. That’s caused by the tumor na pala. I rushed him to the vet when medyo marami na syang sipon, then by night time the called me in. He flatlined. But when I got there, they were able to revive him na. I stayed for 2 hours watching his pulse rate, and oxygen level. Not once did he scare me. He was stabilizing pa. After his last IV injection. Doctor said, pwede ka na umuwi. I didn’t even say goodbye, i just told him he’ll get chicken tom so pagaling sya. Then wala pang 10 mins after i left. He got into a seizure. He didn’t want mommy to see him leave pala. The next call I got he was gone na. But talagang he wanted to let me hug him one last time before going kaya sya siguro nagparevive. I’m so spoiled with my dogs.  It was fast unlike Oreo na mahaba at pinagbigyan ako. I don’t know what is harder. The quick one or the long one. But for sure both masakit.

Coco was never emo. He was always the happy one. And he left me with that attitude parin. Quick and without showing mommy any weakness and sadness. It’ll take me time again to get over. But if there’s anything about Coco, he thought me na kahit may tumor sya, hindi nya pinaramdam, Hugs are still more important 🙂 Nothing can beat hugs. Masmalakas ang power ng hug 🙂 12 years yun, so ngayon na masakit yung puso ko and my tears parang semi-permanent na sa mata ko since last night. I always think that i should be excited for his hugs when i see him again. That keeps me smiling.

Yung Janet Jackson incident pala namin was a sign of how our relationship will be for years to come. Full of love and hugs.


There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel your love around me baby
I’ll never forget ma’ baby
(I’ll never forget you)

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel your love around me baby
I’ll never forget ma baby
When I feel that I don’t belong
Draw my strength
From the words when you said
Hey it’s about you baby
Look deeper inside you baby

Dream about us together again
When I want us together again baby
I know we’ll be together again ’cause

Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin’ back at me
Dancin’ in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz’ I can see your star
Shinin’ down on me

(Together again ooh )
Good times we’ll share again
(Together again ooh )
That makes me wanna dance
(Together again ooh)
Say it loud and proud
(Together again ohh)
All my loves for you

Always been a true angel to me
Now above
I can’t wait for you to wrap your wings around me baby
Wrap them around me baby
Sometimes hear you whisperin’
No more pain
No worries will you ever see now baby
I’m so happy for ma baby

I dream about us together again
When I want us together again baby
I know we’ll be together again ’cause

Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin’ back at me
Dancin’ in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz’ I can see your star
Shinin’ down on me

(Together again ooh )
Good times we’ll share again
(Together again ooh )
That makes me wanna dance
(Together again ooh)
Say it loud and proud
(Together again ohh)
All my loves for you

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel you smile upon me baby
I’ll never forget ma baby
What’ll I give just to hold you close
As on earth
In heaven we will be together baby
Together again ma baby

Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin’ back at me
Dancin’ in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz’ I can see your star
Shinin’ down on me


So kung si Oreo may blue ribbons, Coco labas mo yung red wig when we see each other. And get ready to give mommy the biggest hug ever 🙂

Coco was always the happiest with hugs 🙂


Hope Pritchon and Liempo puppy maging kasing bait at tyaga nila sakin. Oreo and Coco lived pretty long, I’m sure minahal talaga nila ako 🙂

Much love,


I know you guys have been waiting for this but syempre dapat i should make it full experience for you guys. Walang labis walang kulang. So Baka madamihan ng parts toh.

Please bear in mind na para full experience nga kayo, some photos and videos are not from me.

The MDNA ganap was held in Paris. Technically, 2x na akong nag attempt manood ng Madonna before, parehong fail dahil una nagkasakit ako, 2nd wala akong nakuhang tickets 🙁 So when Madonna announced na may world tour sya, daily habit ko magcheck and talagang nakaabang ako to buy tickets. Naiyak ako ng slight when hindi ako nakapasok sa internet site nung for ABU DHABI concert nya. Believe it or not lahat ng windows ng browser ko nakapila, biglang sold out. 1 hour ako naghihintay. So sadness na talaga. 

Guys, months months ago toh. Ganun ang pagkasold out ng Lola Madonna. So when they opened Europe, 2 lang choice ko. London and Paris, since Kermit Tesoro nga will be studying there, needsung kong gumora at maghanap kung saan sya makikitira. So dun may chance ako. Sakto din since JULY sya sa PARIS and LONDON, and pasukan ni Kermit AUGUST. Pwede ko isingit ng bongga si LOLA MADGE.

First of all, i need to explain… OBSESSED AKO. FANATIC ako ni Madonna. The time i was supposed to see her and I got hospitalized, i really tried to drink hindi prescribed na herbal medicine para gumaling kagad at parang na overdose ko ata ang sarili ko sa herbal dun dahil inisip ko masbibilis akong gagaling levels. FAIL. EPIC FAIL. Sumobra at lalo pa akong tumagal sa hospital because nag ka tummy problema pa ako sa mga ginawa ko. I had nightmares na umiiyak ako paggising kasi hindi ko nakita si Lola Madge. Yes, ganun ako ka OA. Only fanatics would understand.

Lahat ng kanta nya feeling ko relate sa buhay ko. LAHAT as in lahat. At my happiest si Madonna ang tugtog ko, at my pinakacrayola momemnts si Madonna parin. I have the complete DISCOGRAPHY of Madonna. Walang labis, walang kulang. Siguro kung alam ko lang anaong kinakanta nya sa shower, for sure meron din ako. Pati personal graduation song ko (I went from Grade 11 to 1st year college so never ako na ka graduate na may rampa sa stage involved) ay THIS USED TO BE MY PLAYGROUND na magisa akong gumawa ng graduation with my manangs sa gilid ng balur namin. Para lang ma-feel ko.

Eto pa masmalala, KINDERGARTEN ako at naka-MADONNA ang costume ko for United Nations. Walang connect but pinilit ko talaga. Sabi nila nagiiyak daw ako ng bongga so pinagbigyan ako. While everyone was doing the UNITED NATIONS dance, magisa akong nagmamadonna sa stage. Hindi charot toh. May prueba akong photos…

Ayan, pati yung look ni Madonna prinapractice ko.

I know may betamax ako nang ganap na toh. Kasi umiiyak ako bakit hindi magaya yung hair ni Madonna. So siguro para mauto ako, tinaas nalang ni yayey.

You can see sa reflection na ang mga yayey ko ang biggest fans ko.

While busy Ms. India and Mr. Usa, si Divine Madonna may sariling Madonna steps.

Halata naman may sarili akong dance number d ba? haha!

I really hope hindi sya na shock sa mga tuwad tuwad dance ko. At sana hindi na-office ang mudak ko.

Eto ang riot, tapos na performance… d pa tapos ang steps ko. haha!

So siguro get nyo na kahit slight ang pagkafanatic ko. Numerous times pa akong naging Madonna for halloween. Kahit nung kuma-kanebo white pa ang funda ng lola madge, ginaya ko din yun.

Check nyo dito:

So technically, intro palang ang rapunzel na sa haba. Don’t worry. I will break it up into parts.

So part 1 palang toh (obvious ba? haha!)

Check The outfits of Madonna for MDNA. Mix of old and new ang ganap. Yan ang masisight nyo sa mga sunod na photos and videos.

We arrived on the 12th and her concert was on the 14th. I just wanted to be extra extra safe. Kaya may buffer akong one day.

In Paris palang, you would feel na the MDNA fever…

This is the STADE DE FRANCE Stadium


Here’s Milan nagpapaphoto while nandun ako sa gera sa likod. Kasi yung mga bilin ng beckies na merchandise needsung ko ma-avail


Pinagtyagaan ko ang kanyang mga music fest… my turn! :p


We came early!


Iba ibang interpretation ng Madonna!


6pm palang yan ha!


The stage was like this:

Nasa may leftside kami if you’re facing the stage.

(photo from MADONNA NATION)

May mga chismiz daw na flopey at d puno… hilo ba sila? Parang langgam ang tao sa dami!

Photo from patanouille

We also came early when gates opened at 6pm. 8pm yung starting act and 12 midnight nagend. In short… 6 hours akong nakatayo…. but for Lola Madge, kahit matulog pako dun. Keri ko.

Photo from uneamericaine

So technically, dahil maaga kami we got a good spot! 🙂


Plus i have this big LED screen na para bongga ang videos na mashoot ko for you guys.


I was thinking, if mahimatay ba ako, dadalhin ako kay Lola Madge ng mga security? D ata epek. Mukhang brusco eh.


Lola Madge’s front act was DJ MARTIN SOLVEIG, bongga sya kasi naging fave ko sya sa coachella!


May araw pa, pero parang wala ng bukas ang lahat!




Kumakanta din ang lolo nyo. SO bonggels sya.



Ganyan ka riot ang utash!


While busy sila… may na spottan kami ni MIlan near the stage… JEAN PAUL GAULTIER! He made some of Lola Madge’s costume!


Another shot!


Then may surprise guest pa! WILL I AM! Daming pasabowg ni MADGE!

He sang a couple of songs, syempre todo dance lahat!


There he is!







Then right after they had about an hour again na pang light test and all.



Sunset in the stadium. Addik talaga ako sa sunsets.


Dapat padalan ng hair grower si Kuya JPG! Pero added charm!


  • Ok, so our photos and videos coming sa next post. Backgrounder lang toh para mafeel nyo ang in the zone for MDNA.

Tidbit… This was shot in PARIS! Same time ata if I’m not mistaken! So MADONNA FEVER TALAGA!

Madonna Turn Up The Radio (Official Video) by madonnaofficial

So abangan ang next post 🙂

Much love,


I like writing. Sa daldal kong toh, kahit anong venue basta makachika! haha! 🙂 Usually i get special writing jobs for magazines, internet chuchus or newspaper. So aliw 🙂

Check out my article out for MEG this month! Please grab a copy for the photos chenes and cute issue about ERICH dispelling attitude problems 🙂 so gow!

paki deadma yung mga wrong spelling… d ko makita yung file ng final edit. haha!

“Try and try until you die,” was what I always wrote in those slumbooks’ favorite motto way back in grade school. I guess it was just me trying to be funny, or trying to be cool.  But that was the usual statement I would write. Now 20 years later, I never really thought how this trying to be cool statement could actually affect me and even be a defining statement of what my life is now.

When Bianca messaged me about this article, I was extremely excited. I enjoy writing for print. I like stepping out of my comfort zone ie: blog (MY BECKY SPEAK blog) So I took on the challenge. But the next text made me a little bit more hesitant, she wanted me to write about my climb/experiences to where I am now.  I love success stories don’t get me wrong, but honestly, I think it’s about time that my failures get the same airtime as my mini victories in life. So I pitched the idea to Bianca and thank God she agreed and was even enthusiastic about it.

So here we go, ladies and gentlemen let me present some my biggest failures in life.

I wanted to travel the world, live in a foreign country, speak another language in addition to Tagalog and English, be a Victoria’s secret angel, run a multinational company, and marry a prince.  Now before you react, please read my story J

I always knew I was mediocre. . I was tall, but not the tallest; I was doing pretty well to be in the honor roll but never the top, and I was likeable because I was funny and entertaining but never because of beauty or grace.  Honestly, I can’t complain.  Mediocre is fine.  It wasn’t such a hard high school life.  But of course, like any high school student, I started comparing myself. I started comparing myself to my gorgeous classmates who had billboards, covers and commercials all over Manila.  I compared myself to my well traveled high school classmates who spoke at least 4 languages. Yes, people… there is such thing- well traveled high school kids. Brent being an international school, I had a lot of classmates with foreign parents- so they would get to visit dad’s family in Switzerland, Mom’s family in France and Uncle’s villa in Italy. They’ve been to all these gorgeous places when the only Italian place I frequented was SBARRO (that summed up was my idea of an authentic Italian restaurant) So I asked my dad to bring me to China to see our relatives but he said we had none there or maybe some but.. he doesn’t know them.  I then, bugged my mom to find out about our Spanish heritage but she said the only Spanish thing we have left is her last name MONTANO which is not even so Spanish since I never really heard it in any Spanish teleserye. But I’m not one to give up easily, I made a dream book. I researched about the places and promised myself that I would marry a prince (no kidding).

Right before college, the self -comparison got the best of me. I always wanted the same things my classmates had- my jansport bag always looked a bit sad compared to their vuittons and prada schoolbags. I knew asking for an allowance increase was out of the question (though not undeserved) so I decided to earn a bit as a model. Again, it was pretty mediocre. Work was good, but not great. I thought that maybe Manila was not for me since I still had my focus on becoming a Victoria’s Secret Angel. So I decided, at the age of 17 to try my luck in Hong Kong. It was a tough decision because my mom refused to allow me to go and my dad being the traditional Chinese that he is  thought it was a crazy idea. But I really believed that I would make it. So after my show in Hong Kong for Robby Carmona, I stayed behind. Because of this decision my parents decided to cut the financial umbilical cord and just to keep my parents from deporting me, we compromised that I would come home and finish college. Thankfully, it was summer vacation so I was able to stay and try my luck there. I worked hard as a model, though I was able to book jobs it was still not enough for me to stay there. I needed a plan b. So what I did was buy and sell items from Mango, Zara and Morgan (which was very in, yet unavailable in Manila at the time) to my classmates.  Business became better and eventually my buy and sell gig was earning more than my modeling. I expanded my “business” to cell phones and started selling those and accessories.  In other words my supermodeling dream had failed, but thank God for my mini business, I survived living in another country.

Upon coming back, I kept my mobile phone sideline and would frequent my father’s office to sell to his staff. Since I had to be savvy to compete with the greenhills stalls, I offered my products with installment plans. I was in the office almost weekly to sell and collect that my dad wanted to kick me out. He told me, since you keep coming to bug us during business hours to sell your cellphones, why don’t you try selling for the company. When he said that, I got a bit excited, I started dreaming about my floor to ceiling glass office and my secretary who would take note of all my appointments. My first day was nothing further from what I had imagined.  It was in the middle of the mall, in a booth, handing out flyers. Yes, I was one of those people handing out flyers.  I worked as an agent.  I did my job without pay, because as an agent, you only get paid when you close a deal.  So daily, I would go and hand out flyers. Luckily I was talkative enough, so I was able to close some deals. Our booth also became a TAMBAYAN since my classmates would come by to visit me, and eventually they were closing deals under my guidance. Then I was promoted to a broker. I refused to work for my dad (maybe because in the back of my mind, I knew he would never give me my glass office) so I started a brokerage group with my friends, and started traveling to establish networks abroad for our brokerage. We became friends with a lot of our clients who ended up getting our referrals for interior design. And since we have a lot of OFW clients, they wanted us to oversee the whole construction. Fortunately, my best friend was taking up architecture so we opened another division of our business – construction. I know it sounds such a big thing but that’s just how I want it to sound. Haha! Actually, our office was in my one bedroom condo unit, we had no secretary, no drivers or messengers. We started with simple painting jobs and renovations and eventually we became big enough to start bidding for small projects.

While all of these things were happening, I really started to miss fashion. Heck, I even missed going to the mall. Since our sites are always in far areas, I would come home pretty late and malls would be closed at that time. So to feed my appetite for fashion, I got a sewer to attend to my “needs”. I would print things from the net and have the sewer put it together. The problem came when manang was so efficient and was finishing 6 designs per day! I don’t need 6 outfit changes in a day! I knew I wanted to keep her, yet I have to find a plan to make if feasible for me. That’s how Luca started. I shared a space with my friend so that we can start selling manang’s production. Thankfully, Luca grew and David Milan came in to help me manage. Luca is now being fully managed my David and another partner, Fayinna Zaragoza. I am merely a silent partner now. After they came in, I had extra time to work with young designers. With a bit of background in retail from Luca, I helped Kermit Tesoro with his business model and website. On our first day, we got about 20 international orders from the website! All on the first day on website operations! Today, we are already distributing to a lot fo internet stores and shops all over the world.

While all of this was happening, I still had dreams of being on a cover, in commercials, on billboards. Just like my classmates in highschool. I tried my best while modeling but the best would always be a support role that if you blink you’d run the risk of missing my grand debut.  I eventually gave up and stopped comparing myself. I focused on doing things I love and improving to be the best version of myself.  Instead of moping about my insecurities, I started thinking of ways to fix it.  I learned to do makeup thru youtube. I would hang out in photoshoots and bug hairstylists to teach me how to do my own hair. And I started fighting for things I truly believed in regardless of what others may say.  A good friend of mine told me that maybe it’s time for people to start seeing this side of me and urged me to start blogging. I was kind of lost at first until she told me to blog as if I was just talking to her. And it worked!

So after years of trying to be that girl they were looking for, I just started being me. And you know what, they liked me even better than that girl I thought they were looking for. J

If you look back at my wishlist or dreamlist… I am a big failure.  Maybe 20 years ago, I would think just that. But after I started seeing myself differently, I also started seeing the list differently.

I wanted to travel the world and I did.  It may be for work but I was able to see all those gorgeous places while doing something that I loved. I wanted to live in a foreign country and I did.  Maybe I was not such a successful model in Hong Kong but the hardships pushed me to discover that I was actually better at something else. I wanted to speak another language, and I do! Maybe it’s not my first choice of French or Italian but I know Beckimese, something that my blog is full of.  And It’s never not too late to learn French and/or Italian anyway.  I wanted be a Victoria’s secret angel  -someone calls me “angel” in a way.  You see, part of what I believe in and what I fight for is our charity Childhaus. When you do visit, you will see a big sign with names of all of their guardian angels. I may not be Victoria’s secret angel but I would I am one of childhaus’ and that means more to me. I wanted to run a multinational company, and I do. It might be small but Luca, my brokerage and Kermit Tesoro are all active globally. Thanks to the internet. And I wanted to marry a Prince, but why settle for a Prince when I already have someone who treats me like a Queen. And honestly, I was crowned without a Prince… I’m very proud to be QUEEN BECKY for my LGBT friends.

So when you see a glammed up version of me in a shoot or fashion spread.  Remember to never to give up. Because underneath those clothes, makeup and curly hair is already a layer of thick warpaint of life’s struggle.  Remember guys, when someone say that you’re TRYING HARD it just means that you’re consciously making an effort and there’s never any shame in that. Use this as a reminder to TRY HARDER J So if ever anyone makes me sign a slambook again, I would gladly sign TRY AND TRY UNTIL YOU DIE.

So there becklings, ayan na! GO LANG! SUPPORTADO ko kayo sa pagiging trying hard 🙂 Just means you need to try harder 🙂

Much love,